I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’
Saying ‘you should be bad!!’ In like Gay Voice to a white woman at starbucks has like the same psychological impact as going like ‘who’s a good boy?’ To a dog. It makes them so excited in a really endearing way.
overheard some teens today talking about a girl they know who’s a “canned fish influencer” and makes and sells her own canned fish and how everyone they know is big into canned fish now and throwing fish canning parties every weekend? i can’t tell if i’m way more out of touch with The Youths than i thought, or if they were doing a bit, or if seattle youths are just extra incomprehensible. maybe all three
Friends, strangers, I want to share with you something I long thought I’d hallucinated, but which today I have discovered was absolutely real.
In the 90s my mum went to a number of Star Trek conventions and would often come home with a fan made tshirt. I need you to understand that my mother, barely 5’ tall, a catholic who to this day goes to church every Sunday, who was never heard to utter a swear word until I was in my twenties, who taught Grade One for decades at the local primary school. This woman, pure and innocent, went to a Star Trek convention and not only saw this tshirt but PURCHASED IT and now it’s been rediscovered in the garage and I’ve never been happier in my life.
I asked her what she was thinking and she said that she thought it was funny but when she brought it home my dad was (aside from side splittingly amused) absolutely adamant that she couldn’t wear it out in public because SHE WANTED TO DO THAT!! Grade One teacher, church on Sunday mum wanted to wear this around town! Who IS this woman I thought I knew??
Anyway now I have this awesome tshirt and I sort of want to frame it.
Crimson Peak is SO fucking funny when they first get to the house and Hiddles is like. Oh yeah forget to mention, giant hole in the roof. Also the floor is rotten, someday the whole foundation will collapse. And don’t be alarmed if the pipes start bleeding! It’s just that the very ground beneath our feet is oozing red liquid, absolutely drenched with it, as though the entire house is bleeding and bloodstained, as though the very earth our family legacy is built upon were one great open wound.
I fucking love Gothic settings. Don’t worry about it Edith, welcome to your very normal and inhabitable house.
